Trev's place

Tag: customer

  • Should we get a 13 or 1300 number?

    These numbers are a good idea and have some advantages. For example, you can have the same number with different locations and depending on the caller, it will route to the closest branch.

    BUT the world is changing. More and more people are starting to use the Internet for their phone calls because of cost. Example: we changed from normal Telstra landline to Engin VoIP and our bill went from about $100/month to about $20/month.

    Two problems arise with the 13 and 1300 number system then.

    1. The 13 or 1300 phone system no longer knows where the caller is. When we first got the system, I would call a cab using 13 number and ended up talking to Sydney (I’m in Adelaide).
    2. The most annoying for me, it costs money to call a 13 or 1300 number and the call cost is comparably high! They also show up on the bill as expensive calls, so people soon start to become more aware. (Most move to VoIP to save money).

    So the tip: If you’re going to do 13 or 1300 numbers, make sure you also publish the traditional landline numbers so you don’t annoy your customers. Give them the choice!

    You want to make it as easy and convenient for customers to call you. Not annoy them I’m sure.

  • Telstra moves more Australian jobs to India

    A comical help desk call from a customer with a very strong Australian slang to the Telstra India help desk with an agent that has a very strong Indian accent and doesn’t understand many of the Australian slang terms.

    It begins with the announcer making the statement that Telstra moves more Australian jobs to India.

    Download the audio clip in MP3 format here.

    Here is the transcript of the call. A good read if your not able to get the audio.

    Announcer: Tuesday February 17th Telstra moves more Australian jobs to India
    Agent: Hello, welcome please to Telstra customer service how may be helping you
    Caller: Oh yeh I’m on my mobile in Warragamba
    Agent: What, pardon, what, kindly repeating location sir
    Caller: Warragamba, I’m in Warragamba just past Wallacia
    Agent: What, what, what, repeating please
    Caller: Warragamba, out past Wallacia, Mulgoa, Luddenham
    Agent: Warragambling Mudling Home… Not finding a postal code for Warragambling Mudling Home
    Caller: Listen sunshine don’t worry about that, the point is me landline’s carked it
    Agent: Cark, cark, what is cark?
    Caller: It’s stuffed
    Agent: Stuffed! What do you mean it is stuffed? You are not to be stuffing telephones. You’re to be talking into them. What have you stuffed it with sir?
    Caller: Look mate, don’t come the raw prawn
    Agent: Raw prawn! You have stuffed your telephone with raw prawns what is this.
    Caller: No, no, no, no. I’ll start again. Me phones not working
    Agent: Well of course it’s not if you stuffed it with raw prawns it will not be working. Eventually it will be very smelly.
    Caller: Look just forget I ever said raw prawn
    Agent: Excellent we are not specialising in sea food issues. Sir this is Telstra customer service. If you are requesting a recipe for line for crustations I will kindly be transferring you…
    Caller: No, no, no. Listen it’s me phone ma hammer it’s packed up
    Agent: Well unpack it then it will not work if it’s still in the box especially if you’ve stuffed it with raw prawns.
    Caller: No, no no. Not packed up like that, me lines gone dead buddy
    Agent: My name is not buddy. My name is Rajeve Biligalvindalswami. Whence are you calling from?
    Caller: I told you I’m calling from Warragamba
    Agent: Aahh! I found it here. Westminster. Isn’t it your being in the United Kingdom of Great Britain…
    Caller: No, no, no. I’m in Warragamba. I just want someone to fix me bloody phone line.
    Agent: Why did you not bloody say so in the first place?
    Caller: I did. I did!
    Agent: You did not! You’re telling me you stuffed your phone with raw prawns.
    Caller: Ah Oh I give up
    [Caller hangs up. Hear beep, beep, beep.]
    Agent: Goodness me silly bloody Australians. That will serve them right for winning one day cricket isn’t it hey. Ha ha. They thinking we Indians know damn nothing. I am telling you we know damn all.
    [Phone rings]
    Agent: Hello Telstra customer service

    Note: This is a piece of comedy work. Any connection with any real person is not intentional.