Telstra moves more Australian jobs to India

A comical help desk call from a customer with a very strong Australian slang to the Telstra India help desk with an agent that has a very strong Indian accent and doesn’t understand many of the Australian slang terms.

It begins with the announcer making the statement that Telstra moves more Australian jobs to India.

Download the audio clip in MP3 format here.

Here is the transcript of the call. A good read if your not able to get the audio.

Announcer: Tuesday February 17th Telstra moves more Australian jobs to India
Agent: Hello, welcome please to Telstra customer service how may be helping you
Caller: Oh yeh I’m on my mobile in Warragamba
Agent: What, pardon, what, kindly repeating location sir
Caller: Warragamba, I’m in Warragamba just past Wallacia
Agent: What, what, what, repeating please
Caller: Warragamba, out past Wallacia, Mulgoa, Luddenham
Agent: Warragambling Mudling Home… Not finding a postal code for Warragambling Mudling Home
Caller: Listen sunshine don’t worry about that, the point is me landline’s carked it
Agent: Cark, cark, what is cark?
Caller: It’s stuffed
Agent: Stuffed! What do you mean it is stuffed? You are not to be stuffing telephones. You’re to be talking into them. What have you stuffed it with sir?
Caller: Look mate, don’t come the raw prawn
Agent: Raw prawn! You have stuffed your telephone with raw prawns what is this.
Caller: No, no, no, no. I’ll start again. Me phones not working
Agent: Well of course it’s not if you stuffed it with raw prawns it will not be working. Eventually it will be very smelly.
Caller: Look just forget I ever said raw prawn
Agent: Excellent we are not specialising in sea food issues. Sir this is Telstra customer service. If you are requesting a recipe for line for crustations I will kindly be transferring you…
Caller: No, no, no. Listen it’s me phone ma hammer it’s packed up
Agent: Well unpack it then it will not work if it’s still in the box especially if you’ve stuffed it with raw prawns.
Caller: No, no no. Not packed up like that, me lines gone dead buddy
Agent: My name is not buddy. My name is Rajeve Biligalvindalswami. Whence are you calling from?
Caller: I told you I’m calling from Warragamba
Agent: Aahh! I found it here. Westminster. Isn’t it your being in the United Kingdom of Great Britain…
Caller: No, no, no. I’m in Warragamba. I just want someone to fix me bloody phone line.
Agent: Why did you not bloody say so in the first place?
Caller: I did. I did!
Agent: You did not! You’re telling me you stuffed your phone with raw prawns.
Caller: Ah Oh I give up
[Caller hangs up. Hear beep, beep, beep.]
Agent: Goodness me silly bloody Australians. That will serve them right for winning one day cricket isn’t it hey. Ha ha. They thinking we Indians know damn nothing. I am telling you we know damn all.
[Phone rings]
Agent: Hello Telstra customer service

Note: This is a piece of comedy work. Any connection with any real person is not intentional.